


Acerola Vibe Check

by MoonlitReplica



Category: Bakemonogatari
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 09:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21241814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlitReplica/pseuds/MoonlitReplica
Summary: This is the story of a girl whose vibes were too good, and how she eventually became a vampire.A parody take on the story of Princess Beauty and Acerola Bon Appetit, so don't read unless you've read those probably





	1. Chapter 1

This is a story from a few hundred years ago. A familiar story, to those who’ve been following these tales. But time warps anything, and the truth obscures itself in fiction. I won’t pretend that this is the true story, simply that it is another telling. This is another side to the story of Princess Beauty.

A long time ago, in a kingdom lost to time, there lived a girl whose beauty was loved by everyone. This is the part that every story shares, that the whole kingdom - from the lowliest peasants to the most powerful nobles - adored her. They showered her with gifts, kept portraits of her in their homes, all in reverence to her beauty. However, none of this made her happy. While the people loved her for her beauty, nobody would ever see her for more than that.

“Why must they only see my for my beauty?” She cried. “If only they could see past that, and love me for my vibes.”

One day, an old witch was moved by her pleas and decided to weave a spell.

“Princess Beauty, no longer shall people see the beauty of your skin. Instead, they will see you for the person you are… and your vibes.”

And as the witch waved her wand, the princess’s vibes were revealed. Vibes so good that even her own beauty paled in comparison. Her vibes could be felt across the land, and the people became ashamed by their ignorance. One by one, their vibes were checked, and one by one they were found lacking. What was once a great kingdom became a barren wasteland. Nobody’s vibes could match Princess Beauty.

Again, the princess began to cry. “Why was I cursed with such good vibes? All I wanted was for people to vibe with me, but now there is nobody left”

The severed head of the old witch, the only part of her remaining after the vibe check, was awakened by the princess’s tears. 

“Go on a journey”, the head said. “One day you will find someone who can free you from this curse. Somebody who vibes as hard as you.”

And so the princess left her castle, and began on a journey to find someone to vibe with.


	2. Chapter 2

Princess Beauty travelled the land, desperate to find someone who could withstand her great vibes. Many kingdoms fell in her path, their vibes being checked and found incomparable to hers. Until one day she met the death-prepared, death-inevitable, death-certain vampire, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master.

The princess had decimated Deathtopia’s food supply with her vibes, and so Deathtopia had decided to eat her. Someone with vibes that good, she thought, would taste truly delicious. However, the vampire walked in on Princess Beauty vibing, and by planning to eat her she had ruined her own vibes. That was the first time she died due to Princess Beauty’s vibe check. However, being a vampire, death is merely a setback. Deathtopia revived in the princess’ lap, surprised at her own death.

Upon her revival, the vampire and the princess talked for a time. Princess Beauty learned of the vampire’s nature, and in return Deathtopia learned about the princess. However, Deathtopia’s hunger got the better of her again, resulting in another vibe check.

Not to be deterred from her food, Deathtopia came up with the makings of a plan.

“Why don’t you stay and vibe with me?” She asked. “This kingdom is already dead, so you won’t have to worry about vibe checking anybody”

“But what if I vibe check you, Suicide Master?” The princess replied. “I can’t stay here while you’re trying to eat me, the bad vibes would end up killing you again”

“I’m immortal, you know. The death-prepared, death-inevitable, death-certain vampire, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master. I’ll be able to come back from death. And, being a vampire, my vibes are top notch. I could help you come up with a way to end this curse.”

And so the princess agreed, and stayed for a time with Deathtopia in her castle. But not before the vampire got vibe checked a third time.

Princess Beauty stayed with Deathtopia for many moons, and eventually the vampire came up with an idea that would allow her to finally feast.

“What if we altered her vibes?” she thought. “Then I’d be able to eat her.”

Together, they tried to change Princess Beauty’s vibes. Princess Beauty attempted to emulate Deathtopia, and Deathtopia taught her some things about how she vibes. But as time went by, Deathtopia became attached to vibing with the princess.

Eventually Deathtopia’s servant, Tropicalesque Home-A-Wave Dog-Strings, got tired of his master’s foolishness. In an attempt to end his master’s infatuation with a human, he had attacked Princess Beauty. In return, he found himself vibe checked and his body blown apart.

Deathtopia, in respect of her former servant, consumed him. This in turn gave Princess Beauty an idea. She asked to be turned into a vampire, so that she could make use of the people who died because of her vibes.

And that was how the girl known as Princess Beauty, whose vibes decimated entire nations, became the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade.


End file.
